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[03 Dec 2005|10:21pm] |
so lifes been pretty good! for awhile tj was completely out of my life, but then me and jordan started talking and i went to javas and saw him....awkward, but besides that im glad that i went downtown cuz i got see everyone that i missed a lot! so jordan said that he heard tj talking abot me again at javas and how he took my virginity, hes like obsessed with that. dusty told me that it didnt even count ayway, but i dont really care either way, rather it counted or not. i have no hard feelings toward him which makes everything soooo much easier for me, cuz when he sees me in the hallway or at javas he gets mad or w.e but when i see him i dont care and it makes no difference to me rather hes there or not.
i'm so glad me and jordan started talking. hes sooooo fucking awesome and prlly the hottest guys i know. its awesome cuz we understand eachother and were not trying to rush into anything, unlike other people...
NEways....im defiantley excited about going to new york with natasha over christmas break, hopefully everything works out and we get to go. i'm so glad her and ben are talking, their like made for each other, i just hope it all works out cuz i love them both more than any of my friends so if it doesn that would majorly suck!
but i guess thats all i really got to say for now.......<3
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[25 Oct 2005|08:17am] |
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wow this school year is prlly one of the best ive ever had!!! i love everything about it, i dont think i could be happier. i jsut hope he knows how much i love him...
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[22 Oct 2005|03:33pm] |
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im so fucking tired of all this shit.......
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[23 Jul 2005|02:48pm] |
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evermore my heart will sing |
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well im back from camp now.....im reallllly depressed, i always get like this when i come back from camp.everyone does i guess but like you get this spirtual high and you wanna be completely dedicated to god and not let sin run your life, but then u come back and after a week or so u forget everything u learned and return to your old ways. but this time im gonna try soooo hard to make god my main focus, nothing else should be made more important in your life than god. what we do on earth doesnt matter, what does matter is ETERNITY and where your going to spend it. life is so empty without god, you can try and find something to replace him like money,boyfriends/girlfriends, sports, but in the end they all fall through. im tired of living my life without god cuz it sucks. i just feel so bad for denying hima dn telling myself that he wasnt real because it made me feel better about sinning. i know some people say that gays go to hell, but i know thats not true. i know the bible says its wrong but god forgives and i know that god knows that i can't help it and that if my faith in him is strong and if i live my life dedicated to god then im going to heaven.
anyways......camp was the most fun i've had all summer, i wish i could make it last forever but i know i can't. my cabin was awesome and i loved the people in it.i dont think ive been that physically active in a while. i miss all the friends i made but luckily most of them live in Iowa and i have there emails, cell #s, and sn's.
the wierdest thing happened today, well my cabin was in the football tournament and we made it to the championship game but thursday we couldnt play it cuz of a camp game and friday was the camp fire, so we had to play it this morning at 7 A.M. (which is very early but im use to getting up early now) and we were on the 4th Quarter and the last play and this kid was running the ball so i went to tackle him and when i did his knee came up and hit me in the chin and he made me bite my tongue and it made a huge gash and i was bleeding all over the place and everyone freaked. so i went to the nurse and she said i had to get stitches so she called my parents and told them to meet us at the hospital in Boone. it was kind of a wierd way to leave camp but im glad it happened like that cuz i didnt want to be the last to leave and have to see all my friends go.
Ugh.. im gonna miss camp and the people there and just the feeling of being surrouned by people who u know wont make fun of u and love u and want to be with god as much as u do.
well i g2g the medicines kicking in lol ttyl
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[15 Jul 2005|04:34am] |
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you and me-lifehouse |
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wow this is the happiest I've been since idk when, i just hope its for real........
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[12 Jul 2005|06:39pm] |
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our greatest glory is not never falling but in rising every time we fall
-dragon house fortune cookie
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[17 Jun 2005|12:02pm] |
i guess this summer isnt that bad although i havnt seen much of my friends, but atleast im making money and my job is reallly fun and i get to be in the sun all day and i get paid a lot.
i watched american history X last night for like the 50000 time in my life lol i love that movie soooo much!! i wish they would show it in school cuz it could change the way a lot of people think. but i guess its probably too violent and whatnot.
i really want to move to eurpope like really bad, or italy.
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[14 Jun 2005|03:35pm] |
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my summer has sucked so far!!! all i do is work at the pool all week for 8 hours a day so i dont get to see my friends at all and when i get home i go to bed so i dont talk to any of them. i knew summer was going to suck but i didnt think it would suck this much!!!! o well i guess i just have to deal with it.
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[21 May 2005|12:38am] |
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Tainted love-Marilyn Manson |
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So this week pretty much sucked:(
the only good part was getting to hang out with kat:) which is awesome cuz shes my bestsfriend evevr! lol this week would have sucked sooo much more without her, shes awesome and i love her sooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so tonight i hung out with kat and we called tj to see if he could come get us he said yea and that corey was with him. it was pretty fun but things did get a lil heated, ppl just said some really mean and rude things about others:( but it was fun talking to corey in the back seat, i just hope i didnt freak him out lol. then me and kat went with her mom to skin kitchen to get her lip pierced which by the way looks sooooo freaking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was a lil wierd at first cuz this guy neither of us knew picked us up cuz her mom knew him, he turned out to be pretty hot, and he was soooo hitting on kat, but then again who could resist her?!?
tomorow im hanging out with Kat and Justin then at night were going to the movies with Sky i think or just me and her it depends if he can go or not, but either way it will be fun.
I feel like im losing one of my bestfriends in the whole world , and it sucks really bad! idk if im overacting or not, i hope i am. its just that we havnt talked for like 3 weeks or atleast not like we use to, and we havnt hung out for like 4. idk whats going on, he just seems to be too busy or something. im not going to worry about it anymore, if hes too busy to make time then o well.....
by the way i think i might like someone, but its like someone i never thought i would like untile today, so im a lil confused on what to do
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[18 May 2005|07:29pm] |
READ THIS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
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[18 May 2005|07:08pm] |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
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[16 May 2005|04:15pm] |
Star Wars Horoscope for Sagittarius |
You are superbly wise and have been known to spread your wisdom widely.
You are impatient and pushy when people take your teachings too lightly.
And your philosophical side always peeks through.
Star wars character you are most like: Yoda |
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[09 May 2005|09:13am] |
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none but i wish i had some |
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SITTING HERE IN COMPUTERS BORED OF MY ASS!!!!
man this weekend sucked ass, fri i had to go to a graduation party and sat i hung out with kat.
tonight i have my lifegaurd class which is kool cuz i get to see jenna and tanner and all them people.
im suppose to go with Emma M on wed to get my history clothes, me and kat are going to be sonny and cher, how kickass is that??????
well anyways i guess this was just another one of those pointless enrties:)
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[05 May 2005|09:12pm] |
i have no idea what all im doing this weekend, saturday i think im hanging out with kat but im not for sure.
Friday i have nothing to do so it sucks.
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[04 May 2005|04:05pm] |
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ballroom blitz |
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man im bummed, i really wanted to go to the concert after school but i have to work at the pool and whatnot, so im sad:( but o well
I cant wait to get the lifegaurding class over with and finally be done, even tho its not really hard and its kinda fun. i cant wait till i get to work this summer , i cant till till this summer all together.
"CHEWING GUM IS REALLY GROSS, CHEWING GUM I HATE THE MOST"-the new willy wonka movie, lol im a loser but i love willy wonka soooooo much and i love johnny depp!!!!! so im so gonna be there the night it comes out, i think im just gonna pitch a tent in front of copper creek so i get a ticket lol.
i seriously need to start working out big time, im so outta shape, it sucks cuz i feel fat and whatnot.
kat is sick:( so im sad, i hope she gets better fast! well anyways i guess i better go get ready for my class, sry this entry sucks so much
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[01 May 2005|02:50pm] |
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black whole sun |
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ok so wow i havnt updated forever, but i never really have anything good to update about......well lets see friday i went to tylers house(total disaster) man hes a prick, im so over him.
saturday my mom had a party so had to stay here, but i met the koolest girl ever named jenna and we talked on the phone for awhile, and she has the hottest gay friend named billy!!! were all hanging out wednesday so im excited!!!!!!!! hes sooo kool man, im like so jealous lol.
today im hanging out with kat and were gonna watch movies so im reallly excited about that!
well thats about all i have to say
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[15 Apr 2005|02:47pm] |
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blind melon-no rain |
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for the first time in awhile i dont want a bf and its awesome! i usually always want one but for some reason i just dont feel the need. i suppose if i did find an awesome guy or w.e then i would go out with him but im not looking for one. lifes easier when your single, a lot easier! not that having a bf isnt great too, its just that right now i dont want one. i have tons of energy and its kool but i have nothing to do with it. i suppose its because i have been home for 4 days and have had nothing to do.
i havnt been talking to a lot of my friends for awhile but i dont seem to mind, idk if that sounds bad. its not that i dont love them and what not, but it seems like everyones really busy lately or has other things going on. the only person that i actually talk to on a regular bases is ben, the rest i see at school and stuff but i just dont get into deep conversations like i use to. my life is pretty kool right now tho, i feel content and its awesome. i dont have hardly any drama in my life which is a good thing.
i really wanna change the way i do my hair, but idk what else i can do with it. everyone says to straighten it but i know that would look bad. i guess there really isnt anything else i can do.
i was thinking last night and ive had soooooo many good times in my life its crazy! i think that sometimes ppl let the bad times out show the good ones,but u have to think of all the good things that youve done in your life, not just good things that have happened to u, but also good things that you have done for others to make their life a lil better. i mean man a lot of us could have it soooo much worse, not that some of us dont have it bad, but there r kids who r getting molested and traded for money to drunk old guys and there r families in africa who r getting raped and murdered and its just sad. i know that we cant exactly stop all that and stuff but im just so tired of hearing ppl say that they r suicidal and emo and stuff for no reason. some ppl do have reasons but a lot dont. i mean weve all had bad stuff happen in our lives, some worse than others, but we have to beat those things by rising above and helping others who are going through what we went through, man im so not making sense ugh....this was a bad idea. wel anyways i know im happy that im even alive and for my family and for my true friends.
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| sick:( |
[14 Apr 2005|01:17pm] |
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champagne supernova |
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ugh im sick and it sucks ass! i have strep throat and it just keeps getting worse:( i hate actually being sick and not faking it cuz u cant have any fun if your actually sick! im soooo bored outta my mind, day time T.V sucks sooo much. i hope i get better before sat cuz im suppose to go to grease with emma m, emma b, lisa, and some other ppl. i would sure hate to waste 30 dollars:( but i guess i have to wait and see how i feel. so far ive missed 3 days and i dont think im going to go tomorrow either so that will be 4, but im not for sure if im not going yet depends on how i feel. wel anyways i guess i better go lay down
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| my weekend |
[10 Apr 2005|11:36am] |
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she touched my talala |
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ok so friday i was suppose to hang out with grant and go to the girl soccer game and then a movie but i ended up having to help my mom clean cuz it was altoonas junk day lol. so then sat i woke up at 3 and waited for emma m and emma b(AKA toby) and ben to pick me up and then we went downtown to get tickets for grease lol and then to jave joes and then to a record store. Then we went to the concert at the playground by the fairgrounds, which was pretty kool but it smelled cuz of how much everyone was sweating, so me and emma m and toby and ben walked down to the actual playground and found the koolest humping machine , man i was sooo turned on when emma b and emma m were on it! and then we went to bk and family video and then back to emma b's house to watch anchorman. i have to admitt i was kinda getting turned on there for a second when we were all laying in the same bed, i mean i was in between to of the most hottest girls ever, its enough to turn any queer staight for atleast an hour. then i went back to bens house i went to bed. now im just sitting here being bored with nothing at all to do!
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[28 Mar 2005|03:36pm] |
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im going to the mall tonight or thrift store shopping with the great and awesome ADDY!! or as i know her addington bear. so thats all i wanna say
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